2025-01-02
I want to remove the compulsion of going to Twitter[1] in my system. Every single day its functional use-case is becoming less and less. So I've decided to give myself some time and build the habit of writing longer thoughts without the character limitation. I've been using it since high school and I always get back to the idea that it has since then conditioned my brain to think in small fragments. I can say that it has influenced the way I write as well, dropping small hints of unpolished ideas here and there and eventually stringing them together to form a theme, in its most serendipitous fashion.
I am not really fond of planning what I write because writing to me is making sense of my own thoughts. I don't really have anything to say and most of the time, I'm only trying to communicate these ideas to myself. The way I have been writing threads in twitter, especially if I try to abide by its rules, where I had to rephrase a sentence in order to squeeze it into the character limit and not break the tweet into the following thread like a huge chunk of a hyphenated thought.
Whenever I observe my thought pattern inside my own head, it always breaks after a couple of sentences. I always take the time to see the words in my mind's eye as if I need to edit what I just thought about. Is it correct? Is it too biased? What are the possible blind spots in this argument?
When one can say that this line of thinking is pretty normal. Metacognition is something I'm still working on and sharpening to always keep my ego in check. What I think about on the fly should not always be true. My experience is always subject to reality check. The immediacy of sharing what I feel cannot be a way of expressing myself.
Continuing yesterday's thought, from detaching myself away from the expectation that all my writings should contain a specific insight, I am also working on removing my familiarity from my immediate thought. What I mean is that in writing thoughts in a journal-like manner, I want to free myself from my primary writing platform, which is Twitter. I don't have a lot of following there, who are mostly even acquaintances. I want to completely remove myself from the idea of getting clout. Virality is dead and chasing it is not a way towards authenticity.
Even if I consider that sometimes, the platform works on holding a certain memory of a thought, where I am able to recall that I did tweet an idea that is related to a certain topic, I can just search it and quote tweet it to generate a connection. However, it can only be limited to two tweets appearing both at the same time. Eventually, the visuals get clunky. It becomes to labyrinthine even if I try to attempt connecting every thought I had over there.
So, here we are.
I only want this to become the start of the culmination of the voices I have been nurturing throughout these years and further explore the ways that I am trying to write. To serve as my own expression whenever I am being haunted by my own difficulty to communicate.
I know, it's X now but fuck it. ↩︎