Seasons of the Mind

I am trying to practice a form of discipline that would allow me to optimize the quality of my thoughts while employing restraint and letting loose. In the next few days (or even weeks), I would retain the practice of trying to "nest" an idea where I will be leaving it here as a passing thought that is removed from my daily logs. I have observed that since doing the daily logs, my mind is becoming less restricted to expressing a thought and I have passed through the threshold of forcing myself to come into the mood of actually writing. I think this is a perfect time to test a theory.

I have observed that I will pick up a topic and obsess over it, which may happen in days, frequently occurring, stacking on top of one another with every new information or discovery is made related to that idea until I finally arrive at one of a series of satisfying output, on the way to crystallize my most coherent thought around it. And there is a pattern where I observe myself absorbing information, forming conjectures here and there and my mind gets all too worked up, trying to make sense with all the information I had. In response to that and to keep myself from getting burnt out, I am writing this as another reminder to myself to let the quantity of thoughts flow first. If there's anything different, I now have the entirety of my previous thoughts and assumptions in this digital garden. Since then my memory of my own thought may have expanded in such a way that it is easy for me to remember when I have thought about a certain topic because of my logs. I will stop worrying about how it will all come together. I will let myself unravel in its own pace to try and understand how I am actually processing thoughts in real time.

This is will be one of those long-term experiments. If you are reading this, this will be a strenuous activity if you closely follow through. Basically you are watching me watch myself (or at least one of the three selves I have mentioned here). In my head, it feels like I have developed a keyword system where I am planting seeds of thought onto specific words that I used to describe the feeling and thought in that idea, allowing me to quickly search this digital garden and instantly find them.

As of now, I will cycle between two seasons in one month: gathering and observing to synthesizing. After each and every synthesis of an idea, marks a two-day rest that will follow to allow other ideas on the backlog to germinate for another season of gathering and observing new information. Then the cycle will go on and on.

I now understand that instead of conciseness, I thrive in abundance. Thoughts about my thoughts and an evaluation of similar thoughts to complete a more coherent narrative and story of mental exploration. I'm sure people do this in their own minds without having the need to write about it. But I'm finding it easier to have a mental recording of every thought I had to maintain an alignment with myself that this is how it has been for me in the past.