2025-06-15

It's currently 7pm in the evening. I just resigned from the day. In the past week, I deactivated my Twitter (X) account. It came to mind because I was having one of the most intense week of my life dealing with people. Twitter was my safe space of thoughts, regardless of the qualities of ideas there. Nonetheless, scrolling through that app gave me what I want: passive consumption, an escape from my own thoughts by looking at the thoughts of other people. Every idea was curated by the algorithm of the feed that I had developed over time. While it also presented as a mental escape, it also was the source of a lot of the things that I have been thinking about, including some thoughts that I had been mulling over in these logs. So I observed that as I avoid my thoughts, I open myself to the ideas of others and passively integrating them in my own mind, compounding the thoughts that reside inside my brain. This resulted into a vicious cycle of a mental overload.

So I decided to keep it tuck away from my brain. Deactivated my account and it has been a week since then. Even though I casually scroll through reddit just to allow for a different space of ideas that are not as erratic as I would have experienced scrolling through Twitter, I realized the mental space that I have been neglecting myself these past few months. My daily activities were now more focused in research: searching for ideas became more active and intentional compared to a nebulous false serendipity of ideas that I would have gathered if I used my time in Twitter. I was more engrossed with the things that I am researching about, drawing more connections, finding logical relationships between one thought and another.

As dealing with people take the backseat of my life, I find myself coming back to researching, helping myself form this vision that I want to realize in me, coming back to a more active and creative work that would allow me to focus my energy into more fruitful and insightful activity. I find this a surprising habit to immediately replace my passive consumption of ideas.

My logs were being written with a one day gap between one another. In-between those days were the time spent researching and connecting my own ideas. I may not be writing them down as specific entries but this is what it takes to design a bulkier content that I think would be bigger than an essay.

I know that I am onto something. My body was quick to adapt even before I am conscious of what I am doing.