2025-05-17

Resting has never felt more tiring and rewarding at the same time. I revisited my old theoretical self to work on an idea that's been brewing in my head. It may be something that I will still write about here in the near future. But at this point, I am strongly considering to work on a different format and explore a different method of expression using different types of media that is available to me right now.

Thought and language is what I would say my expertise in trying to communicate ideas beyond concepts. I do feel that making connections is what I do best. While they may not usually be comprehensive or cohesive at times, I am fully confident that in one way or another, these thoughts are interconnected, even at the point of forming a new metaphor. My equipment to accomplish this task that I desire has arrived and today was dedicated to calibration and testing. I discovered that there is something unusual with my speech. I found that my weakness in delivering my ideas. While I stutter less, which has been my main issue in speech, I am still having difficulty in conveying a grand idea in my head. I feel like I have less time-space to work with because I need to stay in the moment. I do not have the luxury of time to retract and edit my statements the way I do with writing.

This day passed with all these testing and revisiting old texts and it has taken all my energy away. But I can confidently say that I am happy now that I can see the horizon of this new land that I am envisioning myself to explore.