2025-01-25

I have fully embraced lying dormant today. After half of my day is spent to finishing The Day of the Jackal, my body started to somatize and I felt hot, regardless of the chilly weather. How I interpret this is most likely how my body only felt fully rested today out of most days. Weekends happen but the past weekends did not led to this physical state. I definitely feel fatigued. It is as if I had been feeling this prolonged state of unrest, where I successfully deluded myself into feeling okay despite that my body is not in a good condition. I may have been running on pure will in the past few weeks, or maybe even months. I can't really tell.

I literally haven't done anything today except to watch a show, eat, and lie down. Recently, I should have been able to snug any ounce of "work" in it, especially in building what I need for my creative project. And as I am writing this log, I am struggling to find the right words to express myself. My mind just want to take a break. This should be able to provide a sense of alignment between my mind and body. I hope.