2025-06-12

I am giving my mind enough time and space to wander. Currently, there have been a lot of experiments that I am working on to further externalize my vision. I needed to make a lot of adjustments based on my current plan, and with every attempt, at planning, in knowing, the ideas themselves become something else. Every understanding come with a required perspective shift. Every interruption become a kind of reality check. In this case, the outcomes of the world become a dance.

It feels like this is a path that is subtly becoming to describe in the vernacular. Something about a similar energy of creating last January is picking up and I feel that I am becoming more methodical, which comes at the cost of becoming a perfectionist. There are a lot of times where I spend hours and hours absorbing the things I produced only to toss them to the trash at the end. Today, I felt that some semblance of a starting point is starting to form. I have some things that I can continue the steady progress of creation with. At least, I hope I give myself enough patience to do the things I must do and not cram everything because of an eventual pressure.

At the back of my mind, there is a devil on my shoulder trying to communicate the urgency of everything. I must keep my external motivations at a safe distance and not let them dictate the pace at which I create. I know that I have given myself a month to produce a single tangible result, at least to give myself a sense of hope that I can do this. I hope that I can make this a reality for myself in the midst of everything.