2025-02-14

Professionally, I'm falling off. I think I am growing too bored at work. Deadlines are hanging and I can't be bothered to even make a step to set thing straight. I'm not sure if my manager has a lot of trust in me to not follow up on the things I am working on because if she does trust me, then she might have been too trusting.

I'm also considering that how she is a bit scatter-brained most of the times, she might have just forgotten to ask me. But I don't think I'm in the right position to manage myself at this point by managing her and ping her every hour to ask for an update. I am in limbo right now and I am making the most out of it.

This is a moment of weakness. I will simmer in this mud for a while.

I am making some moves in my personal life, at least in reflecting about what to do in the future. Generally, it is about approaching everything with more openness to risk and more compassion to people. Sometimes I think I am being compassionate with myself by acknowledging this boredom. That I know I should just take it easy and not force myself to enjoy the process at this moment. I want the moment to take me there and not be in control for a moment. Even just to have a moment of rest of trying to control every single thing.