2025-03-19

It still feels good to be read. I did some things that allowed me to feel being seen. I keep going back to my later works and email correspondences with friends and despite my hostility to my own writing, I think there is still a solid hope in returning back to my practice.

I am cautiously concerned with this newfound perspective about spirituality and my wholly different view of writing. It may be something that I am too concerned of perfecting since I'm in the middle of fine-tuning my ideas, keeping myself in check in terms of accuracy of my thoughts and self-fragmentation. I just learned that my intention in writing the way I do wasn't all for nothing. I know I have turned my back to actually trying, which is a mindset that might loosely bring countless moments of hesitation before I even start doing anything.

But I want to also recognize and validate that part of me that I did good while I was doing what I think I do best: writing poems. I may try to gain and attempt to reach the same headspace that allowed me to write those kinds of things.