2025-05-23

Yesterday was a day spent outside with workmates. Since I work from home, we only see during these instances, at least once or twice a year. It's also been a while since I went out alone and with a planned reason to go outside and meet people. I guess, with all these uninvited interactions with people, it was a nice reset to counterbalance this feeling of resignation towards talking with other people. At least, they are not strangers, which added a little bit of sense of lightness to this day.

There were still a lot of moments when some connections need to be established during conversations. Some explanations and background information remains to be the main staple of every discussion. But I guess, I wasn't accustomed to this type of harmony with acquaintances. I consider my colleagues not as friends because I have long since treated every professional relationship to merge with my personal life. It keeps a certain distance and expectation that I can comfortably wiggle myself inside without worrying so much about appearances and disappointments. I think I am only happy partly because I can be myself around these people, which came to me like a surprise.

It kept this door at bay, at least, even if there were a lot of issues that almost caused me to withdraw my attendance to this event. It was a reset that I didn't expect that I need. But there is still a strong sense of fatigue after these types of gathering. I still feel like I'm falling into sickness with this itch in my throat.